3:00 am, one morning in 2009, I was dropping my husband off to work, when the BBC World Service aired a podcast that shaped my life. It was a story of the National Health Service investigating why a declining steel town in England had the highest prescription drug rate for anti-depressants in the nation. Since the mills closed, the fathers were sitting alone in the pubs, the youth roamed the streets, and the mothers popped pills, in quiet depression. (In fact, the statistic of this city is one of the highest per capita in prescription anti-depressants is what triggered an onsite evaluation). Sending in teams of investigators, the researchers were looking into the situation. The mental health team listed three contributing causes. Eagerly I listened for the causes, and their solutions.
The inability to control the situation, uncertainty, can contribute to feeling lost, depressed, and unmotivated – a victim.
The BBC newscast cited three contributors to the situation of drug use in the dying town:
Boredom, Low self-esteem, Depression
Lack of Structure, and
Social Isolation.
As I eagerly awaited the solutions, I was surprised when they continued, “On to our next story.” (What!?!)
I am used to having answers given, so I was unsettled. After talking it over sometime later with Nelly, she asked me, “So what would your solutions be?” Thus, began a multi-year investigation of my own. Select the next tab to see my suggestions. What are yours?
My key, to feeling down when tossed into new situations, was to learn this nugget.
“A fast way to build self-esteem is to create a plan and do it.”
When you succeed in one thing after another, you feel better.
This is a good beginning, especially when mixed with the next two steps.
Thus, began a life-long search for so much more on anti-depression and brain healing. This information was compiled in the toolkits of
Meditators build Inner Peace, (relaxation) and
Healers build Health (‘Happy brain chemicals.’ )
For our participants, we offer plans, called roadmaps leading to outcomes that make life better. Each roadmap travels all 7 planks of the CLIFPIN Bridge to get more quickly get your value to the client. Along the way, you get to explore hidden talents. You build new passions that bring joy.
When jobs are lost, school has ended, or covid hits, our lives lose predictability. In these times, we become responsible for our own thoughts and actions. There are often so many options we are overwhelmed.
The Resiliency+ program adds structure, because our courses are deliberately structured to flow in the fastest way to desired outcomes. Although we offer wide-ranging topics, our big value-add is that we have curated the top knowledge and organized the material. So, progress is more focused and time is saved. Results are accelerated.
Even in crowds, social isolation can happen. It is important to not just be in among people (like a church, concert, or lecture). But, also to be engaged together in shaping change (volunteer, business work, hobby club, or class project).
Resiliency+ knows the value of being connected, that is why we use a flip-classroom model (do the homework, then discuss in class). We also recommend study-buddies, or mentors, to get timely feedback and encouragement.
A turning point in finding solutions, came when I realized I could find solutions, where none were given. I just had to take responsibility for looking at the situation from a different viewpoint. Instead of seeing these problems as
caused by EXTERNAL PRESSURES (I am a victim.), I could
view it as INTERNAL PRESSURES (I need to shape change).
So, how can I can shape the change that impacts me?
IF I let LOW SELF-ESTEEM and DEPRESSION stay a long time,
THEN I am not accountable for my actions.
However, on the other hand….
IF I am accountable,
THEN how to shape change? (It took me 3 years to find these answers!)
1) Stop DEPRESSION. Build Passion.
EXPLORE new interests and build new passion.
MAKE AN ACTION PLAN to master new skills to make a richer life.
2) Stop LACK OF STRUCTURE.
CREATE A SCHEDULE and enlist a mentor to hold accountable, and see new options.
3) Stop SOCIAL ISOLATION.
ENGAGE with others in a joint project.
MENTOR others, or BE MENTORED.
Discuss these interview questions with your mentor.
What is changing (or needs to change) in your life?
What are a couple steps needed before you get to your new normal?
Who will help you accelerate the process?
People will pay you to help them overcome what holds them back. Managers prefer workers who overcome self-sabotage and get things done.
You get paid for believing in yourself and others.
You will get paid to add structure, and oversee schedules for action.
Planner. Motivated. Schedule. Structure. Step-by-step. Shape Change. Self-directed. Overcome obstacles. Accountable to others. Self-disciplined. Team player. Volunteer. Leader. Passionate. Driven.
There are several ways to add structure, so you can measure action.
1) Set a schedule.
Identify the task and its deliverable (measure of completion), and who it is assigned to.
2) Be accountable to someone.
Make a commitment to another person (or group).
3) Take a class.
Follow a program to completion.
4) Build new skills.
Volunteer. Practice. Teach. Write. Collaborate. Master a skill.
Give an example of how you believed in yourself (and others) and structured your work to overcame obstacles.
SITUATION
ACTION
RESULT
When you are self-empowered, how do you help others overcome self-sabotage: Anxiety, Lack of Structure, Social Isolation, so they can feel confident, on-track, and connected?
MISSION
I help people keep motivated to overcome obstacles.
VISION
We do this together by having, and doing, a plan. We use our collaborative skills to bring the best minds together and get new benefit.
We celebrate success.
SABOTAGE
IF I don’t believe in myself,
THEN I blame others and feel victimized. My power seeps away. Clients will find others with a ‘fire in the belly’ to open doors for them, and make them feel empowered.
