It wasn’t until we came across mental health issues in others, which impacted our own peace of mind, when we seriously investigated coping mechanisms. We did not know how to deal with others, when rational thought could not be used. The benefit of deeper understanding was felt right away!
- RELATIONSHIPS.
Immediately, this knowledge gave us a new vocabulary to have critical conversations, and how to act when talking did not work. - PERSONAL STRENGTHS.
It equipped us with the insight to recognize our personal strengths. - OTHER’S APPROACHES.
It gave us understanding of how men and women in America, from our generation had been brought up to cope in different ways. - JOB INTERVIEWS. It helped get a job with a single interview question.
- After years of experience, research and application, we consolidated these into 7 major areas.
COPING MECHANISMS are so critical to functioning in this fast, changing world that it influenced the very name of our Resiliency+ model. Over 20 years ago, ä popular definition of “coping” was “To reduce stress and adapt to change.” Now, that definition fits also with the word “Resiliency”.
LEARNING BEHAVIOR smooths change. In personal life, as well as business, it is important to remain calm, and have a measure of control or influence. Coping tools help us shape our response to EXTERNAL pressures, and find the fulfillment of INTERNAL values. Together this mental model is called LEARNING BEHAVIOR. Asha Nelson calls it, “Shape the change you are living”.
THRIVE. When we become our very best selves, (personal resiliency) then we can make a real difference in creating richer, fuller lives for our selves, our families, our co-workers, and the communities we live in. From Diving, to Striving, we can actually be Thriving – no matter what is happening.
MEDITATORS. (Emotion-based coping.) Taming our own emotions is critical, especially when external forces impact us, like loss of a job, losing our savings, or feeling vulnerable when companies downsize.
FEEL GOOD. Some of us were socialized to use emotion-based coping, such as talking with friends, eating, drinking, video games or reading online.
EMOTION-BASED COPING. While distractions made us more relaxed and comfortable, they didn’t really solve problems. In fact, when used as major distractors, they could retard our relationships, impact our jobs, or cause failure in school.
INNER PEACE. Having healthy relaxation, hobbies, exercise, learning, and meditation are important coping mechanisms.
HEALERS. (Physical and mental well-being.) When you sleep or eat well, and have healthy lifestyles, then you have more stamina and energy to share with those who need your help and good work.
BALANCE. It is important, to show your manager and clients, that you maintain good balance. They are looking for healthy workers with energy.
EXERCISE IN MEETINGS. My manager used to do our 1:1 reviews by walking around the factory floor with me, to get exercise and increase oxygen.
A co-worker always scheduled our weekly project management tag-up while she walked her dogs.
TAKE A BREAK. Our team’s work schedule, was such that we routinely could NOT stop for lunch. We had back-to-back meetings. In response, we all had the option of having software loaded on our computers that locked our keyboard for 5 minutes of every hour, and gave us stretch ideas on a regular schedule. I like &Meetings suggestions of Desk-ercise, which can be done in meetings, especially online ones.
EAT WITH CO-WORKERS. We started to have team potlucks, encouraged coffee breaks with co-workers, and deliberately ordered no sweet cakes for our long meetings. Instead, we had sausage and cheese plates, fresh fruit, yogurt, boiled eggs, and juices.
- SITUATION. When we held our quarterly vendor review, it was often fraught with tension. As a remote meeting, our vendors were in online locations, while we were in a conference room. ‘
- ACTION. (One colleague said they had been doing these 5 hour reviews every quarter for 5 years, with the same people. The day that Jaye led it, was the first time ‘blood was not running under the door, halfway through the day.) We asked that each location have NO coffee or sweet rolls, but use vegetable and cheese & crackers platters for the 15 minute break, held every hour.
- RESULT. Our managers were surprised when meetings mellowed out, people stayed more focused, and became more collaborative and productive.
This good food became the standard for the entire division, replacing decades of routine ‘meeting fare’.
ENCOURAGERS. Recent workplace productivity studies researched contagious optimism vs. negativity. Especially since COVID has decreased personal interaction. Your online encouragement is increasingly important.
Be contagiously happy. Own Happiness and Optimism as your right.
- Own Contagious Happiness.
- Be aware of Contagious Unhappiness.
Acknowledge others. When a company had poor employee satisfaction ratings one response was to ask their staff to nod or smile when they were 10 feet away from people, and say ‘Hi’ when at 5 feet. The employee satisfaction improvements were so significant that this idea spread and is now known as the ’10 foot 5 rule’.
Reward those who help. Other ways to engage employees include recognizing them, giving opportunities for growth, and increasing monetary benefits. For more tips, Braja Deepon Roy lists 9 Best Practices to Keep Employee Satisfaction High. These can be important things for you to know when you Negotiate a Job You Enjoy.
Be thankful. Elaine Goehner, former Executive Director of Swedish Center of Nursing Excellence, had a sign on her desk that reminded her daily to ‘Say at least 3 THANK YOUs today.’ to people she came across, acknowledging their good work. She requested this of all her staff; smiles spread throughout the medical center.
Being grateful, is a powerful coping mechanism that builds friendships. You stand out from your co-workers, when you know how to reward them with your encouragement.
- Be sure to send emails to people’s managers and senior managers, when co-workers do something well.
- Recognize people via LInkedIn recommendations.
THINKERS.
LIFE CHANGER. When Jaye asked what was the most important thing people learned in college, the most common answers ranged from ‘Not much’ to ‘Critical Thinking’ . But, then, in the 1980’s the Dot com bubble gave a range of new jobs, showing need for new approach.
‘Critical Thinking’ (Research, Analyze, Synthesize)
needed to be more quickly done, so
‘Creative Thinking’ (Plan, Do, Check) became important too.
FOCUS ON FIRST THINGS FIRST. In the 1990’s our aerospace company offered night classes in ‘Systems Thinking’ (Labor, Materials, Admin process) so we could compete with global competitors. We could start to realize, that if we did something, we could predict impacts to other parts of the system. This way we could reduce negative or unintended consequences (added cost).
RIGHT ROAD. In the 2000’s the difference became even more important between
‘Strategic Thinking’ (WHAT needs to be done) and
‘Tactical Thinking’ (HOW it will be done).
Leaders see the big picture. Managers do the details.
It is important not only to run quickly down the road, but to make sure you are on the right road to begin with.
- Knowing this difference allowed Jaye to be the only one of 30 candidates to answer, “What is the difference between a leader and a manager? Which are you and why?” She was offered the job after this single question.
APPROPRIATE APPROACH. There are many different methods of gaining clear thought. David Snowden’s Cynefin Framework is an important asset to match the changing situation, with appropriate sense-making framework. (Categorize, Analyze, Probe, Act)
PUT IT TOGETHER. Resiliency+ has compiled a selection of helpful thinking methods.
When you know the differences in thinking methods,
(Critical vs. Creative, Systems vs. Design, Strategic vs. Tactical)
and
you know how to select methods appropriate to different situations, (Simple, Complicated, Complex),
then you can adapt to change more quickly.
PROBLEM SOLVERS. There are several ways to solve problems. Resiliency+ shows many tools (A-Z, half-split, PDCA (Creative Thinking), Diagnostic (Critical Thinking)).
ARA. However, psychologist Elaine Pulakos and team, have identified 8 key attributes of workers (problem-solvers) who are most highly valued for their behavior to lead themselves and others through change.
- The combination of these traits leads to quicker innovation and implementation of services.
- They refer to this as Adaptable, Resilient, Agile (ARA) behavior.
To determine these competencies, the quizzes from PDRI, are now common for screening job candidates. When Wolfgang was looking for work, 2 out of 3 applications submitted that day, used ARA testing to screen candidates.
ENTREPRENEURS.
Spiral Dynamics (adapted from Clare W. Graves) gave words to understand the evolution of societies’ value systems and world views.
BLUE. As Kim Anderson explained to Jaye, since Babylonian times, BLUE societies organized to distribute economic and philosophical views. (‘Whoever first gets their empire to the ends of the known world, wins’.) Their ‘bring order’ priority promoted top-down methods, used in popular military/industrial complex organizations.
GREEN. In the 1960’s the GREEN groups responded to current war, by promoting peace and collaboration (A key priority was to ‘Liberate humans from greed and dogma’).
ORANGE. But, in the 1980’s the ORANGE entrepreneurs (Gates, Jobs) blew through those organizational models (top-down vs. collaboration), to build whole new global paradigm (Individualism is priority: Play to win. Enjoy the competition).
BLENDED. In the 2000’s the YELLOW and TURQUOISE groups developed priorities of ‘fullness of living’ and ‘global networking is routine’, with expanded use of brain/mind tools and competencies. Those people knowing how to blend these evolving priorities of care for others, on a global stage, have an advantage over those who ‘do business as usual’.
YOUR BLENDING. People who persist, who do not easily give up, are the entrepreneurs and risk takers, who lead themselves and others, through change.
ADVOCATES. Advocates are people who stand at your side; the word is from the old French term “to call to one’s aid”. This category was not one of the 6 mindsets, until Jaye asked Jeff M. for his story on critical business mindsets. He told of a situation where he stood up for what was right, and was initially retaliated against by his manager, until vindicated by investigation. Doing what is right, is not always appreciated.
MORAL COURAGE, as shown in fairness, justice, integrity, equality, and honesty are not always common in the business world. However, it is a key foundation that can protect individuals and companies from crumbling under stress.
DIVISIVENESS. When truth is called ‘fake news’, and divisions based on color are condoned, then there is peril. It becomes more difficult to build strength in mutual interests.
LIVE IT NOW. Fear, deliberate ignorance, and close-mindedness need to be countered by gratitude, appreciation, speaking truth to power, and standing up for justice.
BE AWARE. In our department, mandatory meetings on racial discrimination were held. We were each welcomed to share our thoughts. One woman of color told how she checked her son everyday before he went out, so he wouldn’t ‘show colors’. One of the managers asked, “You check if he is dressed in black and white, or his clothes coordinate?” One of the other members replied, “No. She is checking he is not wearing Orange, Blue, or Red, the common gang colors in this town, so he won’t get beat up.” Talking together is important in learning different viewpoints, and experiences.
KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING. Those who show kindness, courage, and empathy are vital members of the team. Ask how people are doing. Listen. If you see something unjust, say something to your manager, Senior leader, or HR representative. ACT COURAGEOUSLY.
HUGE RISKS. Even large companies face huge losses when communication is not clear, or what is right is ignored for what is quick or profitable.
Sometimes it takes a federal or international investigation to point out how important honesty, integrity, and doing what is right is essential to the continued survival of the company.
ALIGN YOURSELF WITH RIGHT. More frequently you will find companies using words to draw to themselves job candidates who possess courage – the ability to act, even when fearful.
What are your core values?
